February 2010
1 post
November 2009
8 posts
I saw giant Lego men.
I saw Billy Mays and his Oxyclean, Vince and his ShamWow.
I saw a banana chasing a gorilla while screaming, “You ate my brother you bastard!!”
I saw 20ish plastic green army men marching through Fell’s Point.
I saw Mr T.
I saw Zoltar in a booth, complete with working lights, a crystal ball and wheels so he could roam around Baltimore.
I saw LOLCats and...
October 2009
25 posts
I got my job to name a dog Rick Roll today, hahahahahahaha.
Halloween is right around the corner. Freddie Mercury’s costume is already picked out, now it’s time to decide mine. Costume test: one is to follow.
VERSUS
However, I don’t really wanna be a ninja, so that’s out. I can’t really think of anything I want to do this year, so I will probably forsake dressing up for the first time since… I guess birth.
I just tried to open a bad of pumpkin seeds, the bag burst open and seeds are everywhere. i only wanted like 3 and now i am stuffing myself full of pumpkin seeds. i feel ill.
there are even seeds on my cat.
Whoopsie
You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number
CALL CENTER | CHATSWORTH, CA, USA
(Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)
Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”
Customer: “How much for my daughter?”
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”
Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”
Customer: “Oh, what do you guys...
txtsfrmlstnght:
(919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! “Your” is for something that belongs to you, like ‘your herpes’. And “you’re” is a contraction for “you are”, like “you’re not sleeping with me”.
I love you so very much, 919.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(618): Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh Jager, how I miss thee.
Watch1. Hard to film with a phone using one hand, especially when it isn’t your dominant hand.
2. Not seen: Marilyn watching from behind the door, being a halloween cat.
3. Laser Pointer, or the best $5 I ever spent.
I am spending my day off in bed reading TFLN.
(202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Late night solo trek to 7-11 turned into one wacky thing after the other. First there was a fight almost immediately outside my apartment, right beside an ambulance. Then I get to the store and apparently they just discovered Domo, or something, because that crazy thing is everywhere. Of course I bought some of the junk, as you can see.
The coffee I am most excited about, not just because of...
September 2009
16 posts
At work I was trying to clean this dog’s kennel and he just latched onto my leg. All 60 pounds of him. He wasn’t humping me, just holding onto my leg like a koala does to a tree. My co-worker that I was supposed to be training was just laughing hysterically as I tried to explain - with a straight face - what I do to when cleaning, all the while walking around the kennel with a pitbull...
